Your boyfriend has dumped you, while your girlfriend has told you she’s stopped loving you romantically and now loves you just as a friend. In simple terms, you’re going through heartbreak.
No one starts or gets into a genuine relationship with the intention of getting hurt or dumped, but we sometimes find ourselves in this situation and sadly do not know what to do.
Here are 5 practical ways of dealing with a heart break that may help you go through this process better.
1. Allow yourself time to grieve the relationship
Some people move on in two weeks, others even in days. Some people move on so fast making you wonder whether they were really committed or invested in their previous relationships.
While ‘moving on swiftly’ may sound great, denying yourself adequate time to grieve is dangerous to your emotional well-being. Avoid getting into another relationship until you fully grieve the previous relationship. Remember that hurt people hurt people, relationships are not emergencies that you MUST be in one. Take it a step at a time.
2. Tell God you’re hurting
Throughout this time you may feel that God isn’t listening to you. You may feel wasted, abused, used, and like a disappointment to God probably because you found yourself at the place of compromising your relationship with God way too many times.
During this time don’t feel lonely because God isn’t far away, He is closer than we think. God is close to the brokenhearted, (Psalm 34:18, Psalm 147:3). He wants you to be honest with Him about how you feel. Spend more time asking God to change you instead of changing your circumstances.
3. Take it personally not permanently
A broken relationship is only a part of life, not an entirety of life. Our anger and emotions may make us angry, sad, and broken. In that anger, we may find ourselves promising never to enter into other relationships. We often find ourselves posting things such as; ‘Men are Tr*sh,/ d*gs’,’ Bros before ladies, etc.
Some people even swear never to get into other relationships and even worse off, some end up transitioning as a result of hatred against the opposite sex. We need to constantly remind ourselves that our lives don’t end with a broken relationship. Broken relationships are only a part of our lives, not an entire aspect of our whole lives. No matter how old you are, don’t waste the rest of your life stuck in the pit of brokenness. God has great plans for you (Jer 29:11).
4. Forgive even if you can’t forget
Do we sometimes think that our inability to forget a hurtful experience signifies not forgiving others, besides, the verse (Matthew 6:14-15) says you should forgive and forget right?
But what does it really mean to forgive and forget?
Well, have you ever seen those people who talk about their previous marriage, or relationship like nothing ever happened? They freely talk about the lessons they learned and even accept that they too made mistakes in the relationship and are humble to learn from them. The true meaning of forgiving and forgetting is that we should completely let go of the emotional baggage and hurt that we experienced through a heartbreak. It means complete freedom over the hold that the situation had over you. It means to let it go and allow God to take over that brokenness completely.
5. Focus on building yourself wholly before committing to another relationship
Building yourself means putting your healing as the first priority over other things. This may be; taking a break off social media, deleting photos and videos, working out on your hobbies and strengths among other things.
However, it is important to get someone to talk to whenever you feel hurt, sharing is not only caring for other people but for ourselves too. Catharsis helps facilitate faster healing, it makes us feel emotionally free and peaceful.
Always remember that no matter your age, there is no timeline for healing. Allow God to take you through in his own time and it will be well with you.